In The End - Part 1 of 5 in the Broken Series

Author - Angels_Childe

Author Email:sharka_dragonrider@hotmail.com

Part: 1
In The End

She stared out of the window, emotions high and tears streaming down her face.

"Why Oz? Why did you betray me? With her of all people! Why?" she whispers and sobs shake her body once again. A song drifts onto the stereo.
(It Starts With One-
One thing I don't know why
It doesn't even matter how hard you try)

She starts to sing along, trying to forget the pain for a few minutes.

(Keep that in mind I designed this rhyme
To explain in due time-
All I Know)

She smiles slightly, remembering when Oz played this song for her at the Bronze. They loved this song.

(Time is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
Watch it count down to the end of the day
The clock ticks life away-
It's So Unreal)

She begins to cry again, yet softly so she can hear the melody, their melody.
(Don't look out below
Watch the time go right out the window
Trying to hold on but didn't even know
Wasted it all just to watch you-
Go)
And through her tears and veil of red hair, there is a smile on her face as she murmurs the words to the song.
(I kept everything inside and even though I tried it all fell apart
What it meant for me will eventually be a memory of a time when-) Her tears stop flowing, and she looks to the darkening sky once again.
(I Tried So Hard
And Got So Far
But In The End
It Doesn't Even Matter
I Had To Fall
And Lose It All
But In The End
It Doesn't Even Matter-)
She sits up and turns off the stereo, her tears have stopped completely though her eyes are still red.
"I won't stand by and let time go by. He left ME for Her, and I won't let that get to me!" She yells suddenly at her wall. Exhausted from continuous crying, she lies down and reaches sleep almost immediately,therefore never noticing the blond figure on her balcony.
(You will be mine Red.) The bleached wonder thinks as he moves off her balcony. (My Fire Goddess for all Eternity!)



Part 2 -Sequel
Title: Somewhere I belong


Willow put the disk in her stereo. It was her new Linkin Park disk called "Meteora" and skipped to number three. She lay down on her bed and buried her face in her pillow.
(When this began-
I had nothing to say
And I'd get lost in the nothingness inside of me)
I was confused-
And I let it all out to find
That I'm not the only person with these things in mind)
Willow tried hard not to sob. After Oz left the Scooby Gang started to disband. Well, at least they had started to push her away.
(Inside of me-
But all the vacancy, the words revealed
Is the only real thing that I've got left to feel
Nothing to lose-
Just stuck, hollow and alone
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own)
*I think Oz was what was holding me to them.* Buffy had stopped hanging out with her and she was never called to the library except to be research girl.
(I want to heal
I want to feel what I thought was never real
I want to let go of the pain I've held so long-
Erase all the pain 'til it's gone
-I want to heal
I want to feel like I'm close to something real
I want to find something I've wanted all along
Somewhere I belong-)
* I wish that's what I could find. Somewhere I belong!*
(And I've got nothing to say
I can't believe I didn't fall right down on my face
I was confused-
Looking everywhere only to find
That it's not the way I had imagined it all in my mind
So what am I-
What do I have but negativity
'Cause I can't justify the way everyone is looking at me)
*Even Xander won't look at me never mind hang out with me!* Xander had (unknown to Willow and on the advice of Buffy) started to stay away from his best friend, until he wouldn't't even say hi to her in the street!
(Nothing to lose-
Nothing to gain, hollow and alone
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own)
*The fault is my own, the fault is my own!*
(I want to heal
I want to feel what I thought was never real
I want to let go of the pain I've held so long-
Erase all the pain 'til it's gone
-I want to heal
I want to feel like I'm close to something real
I want to find something I've wanted all along
Somewhere I belong-)
* I don't belong here. I'm going finding the place I need to heal in!*
(I will never know myself until I do this on my own
And I will never feel anything else until my wounds are healed
I will never be anything 'til I break away from me
I will break away, I'll find myself today-)
Willow got out a suitcase and started to pack never seeing a blond figure jump from her balcony and disappear into the shadows of the night.
~Ahh Red. You aren't't going anywhere without me, pet! ~
(I want to heal
I want to feel what I thought was never real
I want to let go of the pain I've held so long-
Erase all the pain 'til it's gone
-I want to heal
I want to feel like I'm close to something real
I want to find something I've wanted all along
Somewhere I belong-)
* I'll find somewhere I belong!* Willow finished packing and sat down on her bed.
(-I want to heal
I want to feel like I'm somewhere I belong
I want to heal
I want to feel like I'm somewhere I belong
Somewhere I belong-)
*The only problem is...Where will I go?*



Part 3 - Sequel
Title: Black Cloud

Authors Notes: The song is "Black Cloud" by Crazytown. Cordelia already went to L.A., and there were no smoochies between Xander and Willow. Jenny was never killed, and she and Giles are officially a couple.
~Spikes thoughts~ *Willows thoughts*
Feedback: Please!!! I got so little of a response on my last part. :(

(Now people say I'm jinxed.
I got some kind of voodoo hex.
Life is so complex.
There's no telling what can happen next.
Life on the edge,
Fuels the sickness in my head.)
Willow boarded the bus listening to her Discman. It was the dark hours of early morning in Sunnydale, and she took no notice of the people beside her. She was enveloped in a little black cloud of despair and didn't want to see the people around her. Although she could already feel the two demons power and the one witch near on the bus. Her experience with magic had left her that much warning.
(It imbeds the type of thoughts
That got a lot of brothers dead.
The smarter brother knows
To keep his foes close.
And I'm the type of brother
That's smarter than most.)
Willow sat in her seat and immediately turned to the window. It was a miserable day, like the Goddess was sad alongside Willow. *I've never been away from home Sunnydale before. I'm leaving behind all my friends even if they don't associate with me anymore*
Willow stared at the photo album in her hand, looking at the pictures of her and Xander and sometimes Buffy, and pictures of her and Oz.
(A cold hearted overdose
Of lyrical antidotes.
The cure to make sure
My karma can't take me down.
Up to the same old tricks.
I wonder if I'll stick around.)
A blond figure walked past Willow's seat and sat behind her. ~Poor witch. I'll surprise her when we're in L.A. ~
Willow looked at the picture of her, Oz, Cordy, Xander, Buffy and Angel. There were going to a school dance, and she had bewitched her camera to take pictures of Angel. They were all happy. Why couldn't it be like that now?
(Is a penny really lucky
If you find it on the ground?
What's the problem with this town?
I can't figure it out.
My karma's crashing down
In the form of a black cloud.)
Willow sighed. She was going to L.A., to visit Angel for a while. She had called him and then headed out the door.
*I hope I'll have some fun while I'm there*
She had also left Giles and Jenny a note because they would notice she was gone. They were the parents she never had. Soon to parents to actual children. They were expecting their first child in August. It was June now. Wet and miserable then sunny and miserable!
*Fun* Willow thought gloomily.
(I've got a little black cloud
That follows me.
Everywhere I go,
It takes over me.)
Willow looked forward to seeing Cordy and Angel. They could help heal the pain. They were her faithful friends. But they couldn't know. They could never know the truth. She didn't really want Angel guilty of ripping Oz apart. Or Cordy cheering him on.
~Wonder what she's thinking about. Does she know I'd lie for her? Kill for her? Die for her? Does she even have a clue? ~
(I'm sick. I've got a real ill disposition. My intentions are pure But there's a cure for my condition. My decisions Put me in the wrong positions. Chasing pipe dreams Of fame and recognition. The Epic. Not only a name, A definition. My game remains no matter the pain. I stay the charmer. The Don of Karma. I navigate it like the Dalai Lama I ain't a saint. But I've got Joi de vie And I'm the one to blame If the cloud rains on me.)
* Does the rain have to start? I'm sad enough as it is! Have I done something wrong to make the goddess mad?*
Spike stared at the back of Willows head. She was so immersed in her unpleasant thoughts she hadn't even noticed him.
~I can't believe she's going to L.A... I thought she didn't even talk to his poof or the cheerleader anymore. But I guess there he only hope to heal now. Unless she'll accept me~
(I can't complain about it Or even let regret Provoke the energy it takes For me to get upset. A bad boy since birth So I can't forget What goes around Comes around And it ain't got me yet. I've gotten wise in my age And tamed the threat of my rage. I've got a lot to learn And I've got money to spend. To pretend is reaping more Than sewing ever could mend.)
Willow starts to mentally sing with the song.
* I wonder why the gang have started to push me away? What did I do wrong? All I did was be their friend, and now they hate me. What did I do??*
A silent single tear ran down her cheek. She wiped it away quickly.
*Be strong. I can be strong. Always Strong*
(Trade my torches for a dime The pressure's fading away now Black cloud's lifted for the light The pressure's fading away now. A thousand cigarettes Won't change the way we feel. The pressure's fading now Can you bare the thought of knowing truth? Knowing truth.)
Willow turned off her Discman and got up to go to the bathroom. She turned around and saw the bleached vampire sitting behind her.
"Spike"
~Busted! ~



Part 4 - Sequel
Title: Broken
Authors Notes: The song is 'Broken' By 12 Stones. I hope they forgive me for using it without permission.
Feedback: I swear that I live off feedback! Please take a moment and send me a message!
~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~

Broken
Giles collected the mail from his school message box and walked along the corridor to the library. He flipped through the letters. "Damn the council.
I can't send them the copy of 'Demons and Witches: Their Connections' because I don't have it. I already told them!"

Giles was flipping through several more (all from the council) when he entered the library. He was met by a happy face and an unhappy one.
"Willow's gone!!!" Xander whispered, his voice croaking with fear.
"She's probably gone to her parents in New York. She was always moaning about Oz. It was really annoying! Now what are we researching today?" Buffy replied looking gleeful.
Two hours of Buffy going on about Angel and saying Willow was awful to not consider her feelings when she started to talk about Oz and not Angel had taken their toll. Xander erupted. "HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT ABOUT MY BEST FRIEND???? HOW CAN YOU BRUSH HER OFF LIKE THAT?? DON'T YOU HAVE ANY FEELINGS?"
Buffy moved back like she had been burned. But Xander continued.
"I knew when I came to you for advice, whether to comfort her or let her deal, you were angry with her, but dammit Buffy. Did you turn into a complete bitch after Angel left?"
~~~*~~~
"Did she turn into a complete bitch after my sire left?"
"She's not a bitch, Spike. Never was. Buffy was just.." Willow searched for a word. It was nice that Spike was listening to her rant and asking questions. It made her feel better.
"How about stupid, stuck-up bint?"
"I was thinking more 'damaged' after Angel left. Now,back to why you're here."
"I already told you. I was going to go to L.A. to this really good club."
"Right..."
~~~*~~~
Meanwhile...
"*How * could *you* call me that! I'm the heartbroken slayer. I've been through a lot lately and you should *pity* me not *whine* at me!"
"Heartbroken slayer? How about heartbroken."
"QUIET!" Giles shouted, interrupting Xander "I've had enough of both of your bickering. Now Xander, you go to her house and start calling people asking where she is. Oh, and call Jenny to check the police reports for anything. Buffy!"
The slayer was currently trying to disappear into the stacks.
"What?"
"And you, young lady, you and I will patrol and check the morgue for new bodies."
"But.But." Buffy sputtered.
"No buts." Giles said sternly.
~~~*~~~
The bus stopped and Willow and Spike got off.
"Thanks for talking to me. I guess you've got to go to the club." Willow stopped, taking a deep breath. *Be Strong Be Strong Be Strong* She repeated in her head. Her mantra. *He's leaving of course. Everyone does*
"Nah pet. I think I come with you up to the cheerleader's." Spike grinned when Willow's face lit up. "So let's go pet, before I get you all dusty,'cause you know I'm allergic to Sun."
And Willow smiled all the way to the hotel.
~~~*~~~
<Alone again, again alone Patiently waiting by the phone Hoping that you will call me home>
Xander sat by his phone. Staring at it. Waiting for it to ring. To hear a voice say she was all right. Or to hear her voice.hear her say she was coming home.
:: What did I do wrong? ::
<The pain inside my love denied Hopes and dreams swallowed by pride Everything I need it lies in you>
Did he hurt her? Buffy told him to stay away from her to let her heal. But Buffy had said that for personal gain. He was dying without Wills. He barely ever laughed now. He never noticed it before now. She was his best friend. And he had caused her to leave.
('Cause I'm broken I know I need you now 'Cause deep inside I'm broken You see the way I live I know I know your heart is broken When I turn away I need to be broken Take the pain away)
He sat by the phone, tears silently running down his cheeks. This was all his fault. All his fault she was gone. He couldn't deal. :: I have to leave. It's my entire fault. I can't stay here with her::
Xander rubbed away the tears on his face. ::I have to leave. I can't stay. I can't deal with Buffy anyway.::
Xander called Jenny, telling her where he was going, that he was fine. Telling her he'd be a few weeks and he'd be fine. And no, he wasn't going to kill himself. ::Though it would happen if Willow's dead. Don't think of it, Don't think of it, Don't think of it!!::
(I question why you chose to die When you knew your truth I would deny You look at me The tears begin to fall And all in all faith is blind But I fail time after time Daily in my sin I take your life)
Xander left the house and got into his car. He drove past the "Thanks for visiting Sunnydale" sign, and approached another sign.
(All the hate deep inside Slowly covering my eyes All these things I hide Away from you again All this fear holding me My heart is cold and I believe)
"Welcome to L.A."
(Nothing's gonna change Until I'm broken)





Part 5 - Sequel
Title: Easier to Run


Authors Notes: The song is 'Easier to Run' By Linkin Park. I hope they forgive me for using it without permission. ~Willow’s thoughts~ <Spike’s thoughts> ^Angel’s thoughts^ * Cordelia’s thoughts * #Xander’s thought# Feedback: I can understand if a few people are angry with me…. forgive me?



(It's easier to run Replacing this pain with something numb It's so much easier to go Than face all this pain here all alone)
Spike led Willow up to the street before the Hotel and stopped suddenly, just to enjoy the moment. He could almost taste her vanilla scent and feel her heartbeat beating blood throughout her body. He regretted having to leave her….
“Spike, what’s wrong?” ~He still has to leave…Please don’t leave me~ Willow began to shake inside…
(Something has been taken From deep inside of me)
Spike looked into her eyes and saw fear resurfacing and her heart speed up. “Nothin’ pet. Just needed to stop for minute.” Spike grabbed her hand and started to walk away. Willow followed silently thanking goddess. She was just about finished when they reached the Hotel.
Spike let go of her hand and slowly walked away from the Hyperion. ~Please don’t~ Willow felt a tear slip and she quickly wiped her eyes as Spike disappeared into the shadows. ~I love you!! ~
(A secret I've kept locked away No one can ever see)
“Willow?”
(Wounds so deep they never show They never go away Like moving pictures in my head For years and years they've played)
Willow turned around and saw a girl who she had run from almost all her life, now the person Willow was running too. “Hi Cordelia”.
“Hey Willow, don’t you want to come in?” Cordelia asked. * She looks awful. What did that bastard do to her? *
“Of course.” Willow smiled weakly and followed Cordelia inside. She rubbed her arms and felt the tiny cuts of pain on her arm. ~I thought that’s the way it would go away… but it came back didn’t it? ~
(If I could change I would Take back the pain I would Retrace every wrong move that I made I would If I could)
Angel came down the stairs as Willow came in and gave her a hug. She looked so lost, like all hope was gone from her heart. Willow felt bad as Angel hugged her for not telling him sooner, for not talking to him for so long.
Willow couldn’t help it. She burst into to tears and just cried. “It’s ok Willow. It’s ok.” Angel soothed as the redhead poured all the desolation and pain out with a river of tears.
(Stand up and take the blame I would If I could take all the shame to the grave I Would)
Spike watched Willow from the glass doors, and remembered when Angel had newly gotten his soul. His sire was gone, and Spike had gone to a cave and just cried. He had let the inner poet out that day, and got the anger, betrayal and abandonment out of his system. When he came back to Dru, Spike’s hands were broken from punching the stone, his face bloody from crying blood tears.
Suddenly Spike disappeared into the shadows as another human entered the Hotel…
(Sometimes I remember The darkness of my past Bringing back these memories I wish I didn't have)
Willow was almost done crying her sorrows when a familiar face came into view.
“Xander?”
(It's easier to run Replacing this pain with something numb It's so much easier to go Than face all this pain here all alone)
TBC (Do you expect any more of me?:P)