Title: Ghosts of Christmas (Willow/Graham)

Author: Jesmin

EMail: Notsil314@juno.com

URL: www.geocities.com/notsil314/index.html

Rating: PG-13 ?

Summary: A year after her past lover's death, Willow finds herself alone during the holidays. What she doesn't expect to happen does in the form of Graham answering a promise made years ago and in a voice from beyond.

Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. Joss Whedon, FOX, WB, and Mutant Enemy does. I am just having holiday fun.

Distribution: Just ask.

Author's notes: Seasonal. This was first posted around Christmas, but it missed a few of my usual haunts.

Willow sat in her make shift office, staring at the computer screen, even though that was not what she saw. The holiday season was upon her and once again she felt alone, even though this would be the first year she actually was. All she could think about was the year before. While everyone was celebrating Christmas, Hanukkah, or such, she sat in her room, not wanting to come out except for work. She had felt lost, forgotten. How could her Wiccan gods and goddesses, or even the God of the Christian and Jewish faith let this happen to her? Why had they decided that the world would be better without Tara than with? Tears sprung to her eyes as she remembered the night Anya and Xander had driven her to the morgue, to correctly identify the body of the one she loved. She pushed the thought of Tara’s bent up car out her mind and then thought of the way they had cared for her.

It had been to much for her to bear, and with the holiday season starting, Willow had shut herself away from all the happiness. Giles and Buffy would come and talk to her through the door, but it wasn’t them that brought her out. Xander and Anya would peer at her through her window, trying to cheer her up by caroling, but yet still she shut herself away. Surprisingly, it was Spike who forced her to come out. He had threatened to break the door down, and when the door started to give way at the hinges, she gave in and opened up. Shutting the door behind him, all he did was wrap his arms around her, letting her tears fall freely without judging. Not once did he tell her how wonderful everything was this holiday season (even though Spike rarely thinks anything but killing and blood is wonderful), instead, he listened to her, lending his own shoulder. When she asked why he did this, his reply was, "I can’t bloody well let you sit in here and listen to that damn slayer’s prattle."

Willow, who had known his secret, asked, "Because you want more of that prattle for yourself."

"Hell yes, but don’t tell anyone that I have a soft spot for that bloody slayer, and don’t go thinking I have one for you either."

Nodding and falling asleep for the first time in days, Willow had barely gotten out, "Sure Spike."

Now, it was a year later and once again she was alone, except for this time, there were no friends singing to her from the windows or calling to her from closed doors. There was no shoulder clad in black for her to lean on. Instead, it was just her, in a strange place, all by herself. The only company she had was her computer and the secretary, Tiffany, who would rather be home.

Looking at her best friend for the next few months, her computer, she noticed that Riley had also logged on. Smiling, she typed, "How is my secret agent friend?"

"If I told you, I would have to kill you."

"Gotta love you government types. So, really, how are things?"

"Busy. Our main case right now is U.F.O.s. Apparently, even though it isn’t yet Christmas, sightings of the man in red and his reindeer are quite popular this time of year. How are you this holiday season? Been slipping the egg nog?"

Willow laughed at the question. "Nope."

"How is the gang?"

Noticing Riley hadn’t mentioned Buffy directly, she answered. "Everyone seems to be doing fine from what I’ve heard. I’m in some back country city in Iowa. The company wanted me here to set up another branch, so here I stay for the next few months."

"HaHaHa. Sorry. That isn’t funny. I just know how you guys are about us country folk."

"Not Funny!!! :o( Did you know it snows here? And it actually covers the ground completely and stays forever."

"Nothing like a white Christmas."

"I’m Jewish. Remember?"

"And Wiccan. Don’t you get caught up in the commercialism though?"

"Not one stocking stuffer or blinking light in my house."

There was a pause. After waiting for a minute, Willow asked the question that she had been holding back for the entire conversation. "How’s Miller?"

"He loves his new job with the FBI."

"Now what does he do?"

"Study paranormal type events."

"So, he’s like that Mulder guy that used to be on X-Files?"

"In a way, except with his stoic face, he looks more like Dogget."

"I didn’t know you were a X-Files watcher. :)"

"I guess I was a closet watcher."

Willow looked up from her computer as there was a knock on her door and her secretary stuck her head in the door. Typing quickly, she signed off, "Gotta go, Riley. Have a merry Christmas."

The secretary stepped in, holding a vase containing half a dozen roses surrounded by babies breath. "They just dropped it by for you. I didn’t know you had any admirers here."

Trying not to growl at the incompetent, rude secretary, she reached out, smiling falsely. Raising an eyebrow, she waited for the girl to leave and then took out the card. It dropped from her hands, falling to the desk where it stared up at her. The Lovers card. A voice from her door asked, "So what do you get a beautiful young lady for Hanukkah?"

Not looking up from the card, she answered, "I don’t know. My parents usually just gave me a bit of cash for the holidays, because they didn’t have the time to pick out personal presents."

"I was thinking of something a little more personal than money."

Looking up for the first time, she met his baby blue stare. Her heartfelt like it was about to pound out of her chest. Concentrating on keeping her breath instead of the prickly feeling she was getting from the blood rushing to her cheeks, it took her a while to respond. "You do know that gifts are given more than once for Hanukkah. It actually contains several days. Then again, Hanukkah, even though it lasts several days, actually falls on the 22nd."

Sitting down in a chair on the other side of her desk, Graham replied, "I don’t mind giving out several presents if she won’t mind receiving them. Then again, I also have the habit of celebrating Christmas."

Picking up the card and studying it, she asked, "Do you think you would mind having her for Christmas? It isn’t like she has been there for you the last few years. Not only that, but she still may be sore over the death of her previous lover."

Reaching across and holding out his hand, Graham answered, "I’ve waited this long, so I don’t mind waiting longer, as long as she will let me keep faith that one day, I may own her heart."

Placing her hand in his, she nodded, trying to control the tear that was forming in her right eye. "I would love to spend Christmas with you. Just be careful with me."

Squeezing her hand, he nodded, "I won’t let you break. Not this year or ever again."

Smiling with one side of her mouth, she remarked, "I’ll hold you to that, mister."

"I expected that."

"When does this Christmas start?"

Looking over at her calendar, he answered, "Let’s see. Today is the 23rd, so how about right now."

Looking up at the clock on her desk, she nodded, "I am the boss, so what does it matter if I leave fifteen minutes early. You have yourself a deal. Only one thing though, I’ve been taking taxis, because I don’t like driving in the snow."

Graham laughed, "No problem. I can drive."

Turning off her computer, she smiled as she realized that it was almost Christmas Eve, and she wasn’t going to have to see Tiffany the secretary until after the holidays. Just the thought of getting away of the girl made her giddy. Throwing on her coat and putting on her gloves with more excitement than she had in years, Willow walked out of the office and looked at the girl that was starting to paint her fingernails a neon-green.. Tiffany smiled up at Graham as he followed Willow out. Shutting up the office, Willow remarked to the girl, "Happy Holidays, Tiffany! If you want to go on home, feel free to."

Tiffany put up the polish and started to close down. "Thanks Ms. Rosenberg! And Merry Christmas to you!"

Ignoring her, Willow pulled Graham with her, waving to the secretary as the elevator doors shut on them. Graham tried not to laugh. Taunting her, he stated the obvious, "You can’t stand her. She can’t be as bad as that Anya girl."

"You have no idea how wrong you are on so many different levels. That girl is pure evil. Did you see what color she was painting those nails?"

Graham shook his head, "Note, throw out the green fingernail polish I got you."

***

They hadn’t even arrived at her place, and Willow was having a great time. As a child, her parents had tried to raise her as Jewish, but by the time she was six, that had worn thin. They had left her alone with their friends, and she found herself hanging out with her own friends for the holidays. It became a time for her and Xander to hide from his parents. They would exchange gifts and watch the regular holiday cartoons - Frosty, The Night Before Christmas, The Grinch Who Stole Christmas and A Charlie Brown Christmas. In the end, instead of celebrating Christmas or Hanukkah, it had become a time of refuge with friends.

Graham pulled his vehicle in front of Willow’s house that the company had provided her. Jumping out, he hurried to the other side and helped her out, making sure she didn’t slip on the packed down snow beside her door. Catching her balance, she smiled, "Thanks for the ride," pointing to top of the vehicle, she then added, "and for the tree."

Working with the ropes, he motioned to the house. "Why don’t you get the house ready while I get this thing down?"

Clapping her warm, gloved hands, Willow made her way to the house and then opened the door. Removing the gloves, she threw them to the side with her keys onto a small table beside the door. Not removing her coat, she went about moving things around after picking a spot for the tree in her somewhat spacious living room. A rustling at the door caught her attention. Poking his head in, Graham asked, "Where shall we go, my fair lady?"

Pointing to the spot she had fixed, she asked, "What about the holder thingy?"

Sitting the tree in a standing position, he smacked his head with his free hand. "I forgot it. I think it is in the back of the vehicle. Here, hold this and I’ll get it."

Reaching through the needles, she grabbed onto the tree and watched as he headed out the door. Just as she was starting to get comfortable the phone started to ring. Inching her way, Willow leaned far enough to grab one of her phones from a table by the couch. Nestling it with her shoulder, she answered, "Hello?"

"How’s my favorite red headed witch?"

Smiling, Willow answered with a childish glee, "I gotta Christmas tree!"

"Aren’t you Jewish, pet?"

"And you’re the evil undead, but you celebrated it last year. Not very demony of you."

"Hey, Red, I don’t have to put up with that."

"But you love it."

Spike laughed on the other side. "What am I going to do with out you this year?"

"Make goo goo eyes at Buffy when she isn’t watching?"

"If you don’t bloody hell stop that, I may come up and visit you."

"I don’t think you want to do that - Graham stopped by to visit." She looked up to see the object of her comment walk into the house with bags in his arms. Sitting them down, he pulled the holder out of one of the bags and then pointed at the phone. Willow mouthed, "Spike," and he nodded.

"I’m glad he is there to watch over you. Is everything okay?"

Letting go of the tree and then trying to help Graham position the tree in the holder, Willow answered, knowing that he was actually asking if she needed his shoulder this year. "Everything is fine Spike. Thank you for caring."

"You didn’t just say that in front of him, did you?"

"Actually, he is recording this conversation to send to all our friends."

"Your pushing it, Red."

"Fine, Spike. Why don’t you come up here and do something about it?" Pausing, she added, "Hey, I gotta go and help with the tree. Can I talk to you later?"

Laughing, he answered, "Sure, Willow. Have a Merry Christmas, and I’ll talk to you later."

"Merry Christmas to you too, and spread the word to the gang. Keep care, Spike."

"You too," and with that, he hung up.

Hanging up the phone, she looked down at the man that was half way under the Christmas tree. Enjoying the view, she sighed as she once again put all of her problems far away and decided to live in the present. This is what Tara would have wanted, for her to go on. Speaking to him through the branches, she asked, "Not that I don’t enjoy this view, but is there anything I can help with?"

Laughter sounded under the tree. "Can you move it to the right?" After Willow moved it, he asked, "The other right?"

Turning red, Willow moved it the opposite way, realizing that she wasn’t paying attention enough. After a few more seconds, Graham appeared and smiled at her. "Thanks."

"All I did was move it the wrong way."

Helping her take her coat off, Graham shook his head. "No. For looking."

Ignoring the comment, she asked, "What’s next?"

Pulling out boxes, he handed them to her and answered, "Lights."

Opening the box, Willow peered inside it and frowned. "You have to be kidding."

"What?" asked Graham in the most innocent voice he could come up with.

"They’re all tangled." Willow pulled out the lights in one huge ball.

"Trust me, with the way I packed that, you will be lucky to have found an end by the time I return." Graham started for the door with out waiting for her to reply.

  Studying the ball of Christmas lights, she searched, turning it over and over in her hands. Slipping her tongue out of mouth, she displayed the look of someone deep in thought. Then, she saw it, and tugged at it till she had the end in hand. Walking close to the tree, she plugged the end into the wall, and then, a slight smile on her face, she muttered a few words that she had heard Tara recite doing this very same thing. In an instant, the chord was stretched across the floor, ready for her to inspect for any burnt out lights.

 Snickering, Graham waltzed into the house, his arms full of bags. Shutting the door with his foot, he sat the bags down, "So, did you.....?" Laughing as he pulled his coat off, along with his gloves, he remarked, "Why, Willow, I think you cheated."

  "Little old me? Why, I would never." Grinning, she added, "If you want, I could reverse it."

 "Maybe we should just leave them like they are." Joining her, they studied the lights and then Graham started to pick them up so they would have an easier time putting them on the tree. Turning to her, he remarked wryly, "Do you want to put them up magickally?"

About an hour later, the two collapsed on the couch. Willow had tinsel in her hair (Graham said she had to, since it was also called angel hair) and Graham had garland wrapped around his arms and chest. Picking a it, Willow smiled, "Thank you for letting me have a little fun."

They both laughed and then started to relax on the couch. Frowning as her stomach growled, Willow looked over at Graham and remarked, "I guess that means supper time. How about some of the always easy to fix soup. I have tomato and chicken-n-noodles."

"Full of yummy goodness!" Jumping up, she left him on the couch. Staring after her, he realized that this was the Willow that he had first met, the Willow that Riley had spoke of. After all that had happened to her through the years, it was refreshing to know that she still existed somewhere deep inside Willow, and the fact he had brought her out caused him to have a happiness that he hadn’t felt in quite a while. Stretching, he got up and then sifted through the last group of bags he had brought in. They were full of presents, and he set about placing them under the tree. After he was finished, he cleaned up the room and then set out to find Willow.

Entering the kitchen, he found Willow filling two bowls with soup. Handing him one, she asked, "So, do you want to eat in here or in the other room?"

"Why don’t we eat in the kitchen and you can open one of your presents?"

Motioning towards the living, Willow nodded, "Lead on, kind gentleman, for where there are presents, I will follow."

Smiling at her use of words, Graham carried his bowl into the living room and sat it on the coffee table in front of the couch. Looking at the room, Willow smiled, "You already cleaned, and there are presents under the tree!"

Graham picked one up and handed it to her. "Here. I was instructed to give this to you first."

Placing her bowl beside his, Willow took the present in her hands and felt of it. Shaking it, she studied the sound, trying to figure out what it was. "Video?"

"Why don’t you open it and find out, Sherlock?"

"What a splendid idea, Watson." Tearing the paper, Willow looked down to find two video in her hands. One was A Charlie Brown Christmas and the other was a home video. Smiling, she hugged the top video against her. "I love this cartoon."

Taking it from her, he popped it into the VCR and turned the television on. Curling up beside him, Willow cradled her soup in her hands and slowly ate it, loving the warmth that was added to her already cozy self. It soothed her as she watched the cartoon she and Xander had grown up with. She laughed, of course in all the same places and even started to tear up as Charlie Brown thought he had killed his Christmas tree. As the Peanuts Gang cheered, "Merry Christmas Charlie Brown," and started to sing Hark the Herald Angels Sing, Willow sighed. "Ah, if only Xander would have been able to watch this with me."

Squirming off the couch, Graham rewound the tape and then put the other one in. Settling back down beside her, he smiled as she realized what the tape was. It had been so perfect - the look on her face as she realized that the present actually wasn’t from him. She stared at the television, her face wearing an expression of pure excitement.

Xander and Anya appeared on the televison. "Hey, Wills," started Xander. "We weren’t sure if we would be able to see you or not this Christmas season."

"Depends on if the baddies feed on Christmas cheer or not," interrupted Anya, as if she was adding something important.

Shaking his head at his girlfriend, Xander went on, "So, uhm, anyway, we thought we would send you a tape of our favorite Christmas special. Now, I know, you’re wondering about the famous Snoopy dance. Well, Willow, here is a performance just for you."

Cheering, Willow clapped and looked over at Graham, "I can’t believe you had him do this for me, Graham." Turning, she finished watching Xander dance.

Beside her, Graham remarked, "When I saw him record it, I wasn’t for sure if it would be worth it or not, but seeing the look on your face now..."

"You’re really trying to win me over, aren’t you?"

"Maybe. Is it working?"

"You’ll have to ask me later."

Graham glanced at the clock and realized that it was starting to get a little late. "I guess I better get going."

Willow shook her head. "No. You can use my guest room."

"Thanks. I’ll just go and get my bags out of the car."

"No need. They are already inside, waiting for you in your room."

Leaning over, he gave her a small kiss on her cheek. "Thank you, Willow." He got up and headed for the hallway, in search of the guest room and his things. "I’m going to go ahead and get some sleep."

"See you in the morning then?"

Returning, he gave her another kiss on the top of her head, remarking before disappearing, "I won’t go anywhere. I promise."

***

 (Dream Sequence - scenes will be disjointed, switching quickly. ** will mark a changes in scenes.)

Knocking at the door. Opening it wide, Willow looked into the dark brown eyes of the police man in front of her. He wrung his hands in nervousness. Living in Sunnydale, you would think that they were used to this. "Willow Rosenberg?"

Her heart felt like it was being ripped from her own chest as he uttered the next few words. "There seems to have been an accident."

Spinning. The room wouldn’t stop. Why was the floor rushing to her so quickly? Xander’s hands held onto her. Oh, goddess, not again. Why?

**

Tara looking at her from the reflection in the mirror. Sparkling eyes held so much sadness. Had she known? "You know I love you, right?"

Willow took a tube of toothpaste from her and added to her own toothbrush. "Of course I know that."

"Do you love me enough that if something happened to me, you could move on and live for me?"

The toothbrush fell from her grip, falling in slow motion towards the sink. "What are you talking about?"

"Nothing. Just being silly I guess."

**

"Do you want us to come in with you?"

Was that Xander who had spoken? Yes, it was. Willow was sure of it. Spike hadn’t showed up yet, had he? No, that was after. Goddess, yes, she wanted Xander to come with her, but her voice wouldn’t work. Where was Buffy during this? Had anyone told her. No, probably not. She had patrol. A hand in hers, comforting her. Reliable Xander.

**

How had it happened? Was the light green? Yes, that was what witnesses had said. The light was green and it was Tara’s turn to go. Lightly, Willow relived it, placing her foot on the gas pedal.

**

Tara was at the door. She was about to walk out. Turning around, she looked at Willow. What was it in her eyes that tried to speak to Willow but couldn’t find a voice? "Don’t wait up for me. I’ll be a while." Starting again through the door, she stopped and voiced before walking out the door for the last time, "I love you, Willow."

**

The covers were being pulled away. Oh, goddess, why couldn’t she cover her eyes? It was all she wanted to do. Willow didn’t want to see her on that cold slab. She wasn’t interested on giving a second ID on the body. No, this couldn’t be her Tara, laying there. It wasn’t right. She should be home, in her warm bed, wrapped up in covers with Willow, not laid out like some specimen for people to view. Why didn’t they realize this was a person, not just something to shut away in one of their small, closet like bins. Tara wouldn’t want to be in there. Didn’t they know that she would want to be out in the open, feeling the rays of the sun? This was no place for her.

Her knees were going weak as she looked at Tara’s face. A few scratches lined it, showing evidence of what had happened, but her expression was peaceful. She was okay. Why wouldn’t she open her eyes? Xander? Is that you holding me up again?

**

The car had come out of nowhere, hadn’t it? Flying into the intersection and into Tara’s car. Willow could feel her body, mainly her chest, pinned to her seat. Was this what Tara had felt? Did she know she was dying?

**

Was that something about internal bleeding? Yes. Xander had said it to Spike. The vampire was looking down at her with the most concern he had ever shown for her. Room spinning. Why couldn’t she just wake up. His strong arms surrounded her.

**

"Willow? Willow?!"

Opening her eyes as a chill filled her and then left, Willow looked up into Graham’s eyes. Yes, they were Graham’s blue eyes, not Spike’s, and it was his arms that surrounded her, keeping her safe. Wiping the tears away that she had shed in her sleep, she remarked, "Nightmare. I’m so sorry. It has been a long time since I last had one." When he didn’t say anything, she added, "Tara’s dead."

Graham nodded and then rested his chin on the top of her head. "Yes. She is. I’m sorry."

Moving from under his chin and looking up at Graham, she asked "You won’t leave, will you?"

Settling down where he was comfortable, he let her rest her head on his chest. As he started to play with her hair, he answered, "No. I thought I already answered that question."

Snuggling up to his chest, she started to fall back to sleep, "Good. I don’t want to loose you, not again."

***

  Willow leaned against Graham and sighed. The day had started with a large breakfast cooked only by Graham, who would not even let her close to the kitchen. Then he had let her open a few more presents, which had consisted of candles, a Menorah, and several other odds and ends. After that, they had set about playing games and watching movies. They had just finished watching " It’s A Wonderful Life," and had decided to just sit and relax before getting up and fixing something for dinner.

Watching the snow fall as the light outside started to disappear, she asked, "So what happened with the Initiative?"

"Didn’t Rye tell you?"

Willow shook her head. "No. Still being military, he didn’t think it was his place to discuss it."

"Well, of course it wasn’t actually the Initiative we working for, instead of a Marine group, this was Army. The catch was one of the guys running it was from the Initiative, so in a way, it was an off break. Anyway, we set about doing the same type of stuff, basically trying to decrease the hostile population. However, the man running it started to become a control freak. He started with experiments and then, after embarking on the steps of Dr. Walsh, set out to create an Adam type creature. Also, he went about giving us drugs, just like Walsh, but this time, instead of Riley becoming the guinea pig, it was me. The only reason we found out what he was up to was because I got really sick, and an intern in our military hospital where I was sent goofed and mentioned that I had a lot of unnatural substances in my system that were reacting to each other, which had caused me to become ill. After Rye found him dead the next day, Rye went to someone higher in the government, and the project was halted. After going though this a second time, I just decided to quit and ended up trying for the FBI. Rye kept on in the military, but now is in a position where they weed out any groups like the Initiative, and then they keep an eye on them, so the whole Initiative experience won’t take place again."

"And now you’re in the X-Files?"

Graham’s chest shook under her head as he started to laugh. "No. That is just a name made up by the show, but I am part of a department that handles cases with any paranormal ties to them. After they discovered my role in the Initiative, they decided that was the department for me."

"Are you happy?"

"Sure. It isn’t quite what I was doing, but this work is so much better. I’m actually studying more of what I’m fighting, learning what makes them tick, why their doing what they are, and where I may be able to find them. Not only that, but I’m learning not to tag all demons as bad."

"Good, because I think that you guys were a little harsh on your "All Demons Are Bad" standards."

Nodding, Graham answered, "Yes, we were."

Glad that a fight over the Initiative wasn’t about to start, Willow closed her eyes, just wanting to feel the silence. After a few minutes, she opened her eyes, commenting, "Wouldn’t it just be perfect if carolers were to show up. It would be just like in the movies." Almost on cue, there was a knock on the door. Eyes lighting up, she asked, "Can it be?"

Jumping off the couch, she ran to the door and opened it up. Three smiling faces smiled back at her. Thrusting a large bag into Willow’s arms, Cordelia remarked, "Merry Christmas," and then pushed her way into the house.

Angel, showed her several pizza’s in his arms, "We brought food."

Beside him, Wesley held up a plastic bag that was full of containers, "Of all kinds."

Shaking her head, Willow blinked her eyes and went from being totally surprised to happy, "Angel, Wesley, why don’t you come in?"

As they walked in and started to sit all their bags and pizza boxes down, Cordelia drifted over to Graham and gave him a big hug. "It is so nice to see you again. How is it going in Washington?"

As he started to answer, Willow interrupted, "Wait, how do you know Graham?"

"Last year, he was working on a case that Angel was also investigating. We all ran into each other, and then after talking a while, realized who each other were."

Graham added to Cordelia’s answer, "Angel wasn’t too happy when he realized I had been part of the military."

Angel tried to appear innocent, "What? I was nice about it."

Returning from the kitchen where he had placed some containers of blood in the refrigerator, Wesley remarked, "Right. You growled."

Changing the subject, Angel gave Willow a hug as he explained, "We have been keeping in touch with Graham, he told us he was going to try to surprise you for Christmas, so we thought we would join in the fun. We wouldn’t want our precious Willow alone for the holidays."

Giving him a small peck on the cheek, Willow remarked, "Thanks, Angel."

Cordelia had started to look around the front open rooms of Willow’s house. "Did you decorate this yourself?"

"No. This place was actually furnished, so I just brought a few fillers."

Caressing an electronic piano, Cordelia asked, "Was this here before?"

Willow nodded her head. "You know I don’t do music. I tried in sixth grade on the flute, and all it did was make me dizzy."

Pressing the keys even though it was off, Cordelia remarked, "My parents made me take piano, but I was so bad, they quickly changed their mind."

Before Willow could reply, soft singing came from outside the door. Clapping her hands in glee, Willow ran to the door to peer into the darkness, wondering who it could be. "Hark the Herald Angels Sing......."

Everyone else gathered on the porch and looked out as familiar faces sang in front of them. As they finished, they all called out, "Merry Christmas Willow Rosenberg!" Laughing, they all rushed up to her. Buffy was first to make it to the porch and launched herself into Willow’s arms. "Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah!"

Crying, she was barely able to answer before she found herself surrounded by more arms. "Did Graham deliver the tape?" asked Xander. Willow nodded and wiped away her tears.

Beside Xander, Anya smiled, "I told you he could be trusted with our Christmas tape." Turning to Willow, she added, "Xander was so worried that he decided we all had to drive up her to make sure you were okay."

Giles stepped into the middle of the group, interrupting Xander and Anya and gave Willow a large hug. "We’ve missed you, Willow."

Willow smiled, "I’ve missed you guys too."

After Giles released her, Willow looked up to see the last person waiting at the bottom of the steps. As everyone else started to flock to Angel and his group along with Graham, Willow stepped carefully down the once snow covered steps and fell into his arms, "Spike, you didn’t have to come."

Wiping her tears as she started to laugh at his unusual tenderness, Spike replied, "I just came to make sure our taped phone conversation didn’t get out."

Shaking her head, she remarked, "Why do I doubt that was all that brought you here?"

"Because you have this strange belief that I actually like you." Bending down, he whispered in her ear, "And your right." Stepping away, he picked up a waterproof bag from the ground. "I brought you something."

Willow peered into the bag to see a halfway burned log and another sitting beside it in the bottom of the bag. "Last years Yule log and a new one to burn with it!"

"I know Yule has already passed, but I thought you may want to burn them." Closing the bag so the logs wouldn’t get wet, he added, "I remember you said something about having a fireplace, but not having any wood to burn in it, and not wanting to mess with caring for it, so I brought a means and promise to make sure every thing is okay."

"Thank you Spike."

Hugging her again, he replied, "Your welcome, now lets go in. It’s bloody freezing out here." Laughing, she leaned into him and let him lead her up to the porch where Graham was waiting. When they got to the door, Spike nodded at him. "Graham."

Graham held out his hand. "Nice to see you, Spike."

The three entered to see people chatting away and others spreading presents under the tree that Willow and Graham had set up the night before. Smiling at the sight of all of her friends, Willow stole away into the kitchen, brought out a match and set up her Menorah. Even though off schedule, she lit the candles and said a quiet prayer. A hand fell onto her shoulder and she leaned into the owner of it, already knowing who it belonged to.

"When I was little, I always wanted to have something like this. I dreamed of the day when I would wake up on Hanukkah or Christmas to be surrounded by family, to be in an atmosphere where you could feel the love, where everyone was happy and included you. But I never had that, and the closest I got was with Xander or with Tara. Even Spike helped last year by watching over me. Never, however, did I feel surrounded like this, surrounded by the people I call family." Turning around, Willow looked into his soft blue eyes. "You did this, didn’t you?"

Graham smiled, "I may have played a small role in it."

"Thank you." She gave him a small kiss and then grabbed his hand. "Come on. Let’s go see what is going on."

As they walked in the living room, they found Spike sitting at the piano. "Willow, you didn’t tell me that you had a piano in here."

"Do you play?" asked Buffy.

Spike nodded, "Sure. In my days, anyone of my standing knew how to play the piano. It was a case of class." Tinkering on the keys some, he started to play Beethoven’s "Für Elise."

Anya leaned forward on the side of the piano. "Oh, do you know ‘Jingle Bells’?"

Grinning, a classical style Jingle Bells started to sound through the room, it was interrupted as Anya remarked, "No, no, no. I mean ‘Jingle Bells.’ You know, deck them halls and all that stuff."

Spike, thinking that she had just gotten her Christmas songs mixed up, started to play "Deck the Halls," just to be interrupted again. "No. No. You don’t get it at all. I mean ‘Jingle Bells.’ You know, Santa Claus and ho ho ho and mistletoe and presents to pretty girls." The last was mentioned as she smiled towards Xander.

Staring at her for a while, Spike shook his head and then realized that he had been played. Reaching down with his index finger, he picked out the first phrase to "Jingle Bells." Grinning, she nodded, "That’s it."

Shaking his head, Spike got up and joined some of the group on the couch. Buffy was talking about one of her past Christmases. "One year, when I was little, my dad over heard me talking about not believing in Santa anymore, so he got on top of the roof with sleigh bells, and started to ring them and then he stomped all over the roof. For years, I thought for sure that had heard Santa on the roof. I still remember shutting my eyes tight, because I was scared that he would leave without getting me anything. My mom had always told me that Santa wouldn’t leave me anything if I wasn’t asleep."

Xander added, "I remember a few Christmases when my dad wasn’t drunk, and those Christmases were okay. However, I must admit that my favorite Christmases are those that I have spent with Anya."

Joining in on the conversation, Anya sat down on his lap and added, "There was one Christmas that I sent a cheating boyfriend to the North Pole. I think he may still be there, frozen like a popsicle."

Hugging her, Xander remarked, "Always leave it to my Anya to make everyone feel nice and cozy."

Willow nodded once, "Yes, nothing like frozen popsicle guys at the North Pole to give that warm fuzzy feeling inside."

From under the tree, where she was still arranging presents, Cordelia stated, "I thought it was a pretty good story."

"You would," remarked Wesley.

Ignoring him, Cordelia asked, "Where did Angel go?"

Graham pointed to the kitchen, "I think I saw him head that way."

"Probably raiding the pizzas," commented Cordelia.

"You brought pizza?" asked Giles.

Buffy and Xander were already tearing through the house to the kitchen. Willow shook her head. "I think you guys said the magickal word."

***

  Willow opened her eyes as she heard something outside. Turning in bed, she shook Graham. "Hey, wake up."

  Graham shook his head and forced his eyes open. "What is the problem?"

  "I hear something."

  "I’m sure it’s nothing."

  Willow laid a little more and listen before abruptly commenting, "He wouldn’t, would he?"

  "What?" asked Graham, wanting to just go back to sleep.

  That was when she heard a yelp, mingled with jingling and then a large thump. "He would," she muttered as she jumped out of bed and wrapped herself in a warm robe. Graham, did the same and followed her through the house, stepping over sleeping bodies in the living room. Soon they were outside. Willow stopped and placed her hands on her hips, trying to hide the laughter that was starting to take over her.

  Spike looked up from where he was laying in the snow. Shaking his head, he moaned before asking, "How does he do that?"

"Who?" Graham tried not to smile, but the corners of his mouth kept on twitching up.

"Who do you bloody well think?" Spike stood up and brushed the snow off of him. "Bloody fuckin’ Santa Claus."

"You shouldn’t say his name like that, Spike." Willow turned red.

"Sorry. I mean Saint Nick." Scratching his head, he asked no one in particular, "I wonder who came up with the idea of him landing on the roof when most of them are too slanted to support a sleigh and reindeer. I mean, why couldn’t he use a door?"

Teeth starting chatter, Willow shook her head. "I don’t know. All that I do know is that you need to work on this fixation you have with Buffy and that I am really cold."

"Sorry pet. I’ll try to stay off the roof the rest of the night."

"Good. Now let’s get back to bed." As they started to the door, he asked, "Peaches is still asleep, isn’t he? I wouldn’t have wanted him to see this."

"I think he is sleeping on the floor in the guest room with Cordelia, Wesley, and Giles. You may have lucked out."

***

 (This is another dream sequence. Once again, the scenes will be short and disjointed.)

Willow held out her hand. "Will you read my palm?"

Tara looked down at her hands and seemed to sober up. "Hmm. I see Willow hands."

***

Wiping her eyes, Willow looked forward at the coffin hovering over the gravesite. Soon, they would lower it into the ground. The earth would be thrown over her and all that would be left of Tara was a memory - a mound of dirt marking where she lay. The lights had gone out, forever. Darkness had taken over.

A hand rested on her shoulder and she looked up into the eyes of the one she loved. Tara was standing right there. Placing a finger on her lips, she motioned for Willow to be quiet. "Shh. They can’t know that I’m here. I just wanted to say by. To tell you to go on." Willow started to shake her head, but Tara stopped her. "I’ll always be with you Willow. Just believe." And with that, Tara was gone.

***

Willow was standing in a room she had never seen before. In the corner stood a tree. A voice broke her concentration. "I got a present for you this Christmas."

"Really?" Willow watched as Tara went to the tree and picked up a snow globe from under it. She handed it to Willow. Peering into it, Willow asked, "Why is it empty?"

"It holds your future. Right now it is undecided, so the globe is empty. The scenes inside will be what you make them, happy or sad. Placing her hand on the top of it, she remarked, "It could be dark if you choose the wrong paths." The globe darkened, looking black with a few snowflakes floating around inside of it. "Or, if you surround yourself with friends, with love, choosing a bright life, then the globe will also glow." With that, the darkness faded away and the globe seemed to glow from a light within. "It will be what you make it." Taking her hands away from the globe, she added, "I hope you had a great Yule and Hanukkah, and may you have a Merry Christmas."

***

  Willow stood to the side as her friends finished opening their gifts. Her finger played with the phone chord, twisting it and then untwisting. Riley’s voice asked, "So, are you having a nice Christmas?"

"Yes. You knew, didn’t you."

"I might of had an idea of what was going on. Graham is my best friend, even though we don’t see each other very much any more."

"Well, thanks for letting him surprise me. How is your Christmas going?"

"Okay. I’m just spending it with my family. Mom is working on Christmas dinner and Dad has been getting the sleigh ready for our annual Christmas sleigh ride."

"Sounds very classic. Here, it is just a flurry of wrapping paper."

"But if you’re happy, and that is all that matters. Christmas takes place in the heart."

"Have you ever thought of working for Hallmark?"

"Yep. That is what I always strived for before deciding instead on the Military."

"You are so lying."

"Yes, I am."

Before Willow could reply, Xander was in front of her with a box in his hand. It had three envelopes on top of it that were held there by an elaborate bow. "Wills, we found this behind the tree hiding. It has your name on it."

Saying bye to Riley, she handed the phone over to Graham. As he started to talk to Riley, Willow took the present with her to the couch and sat down. With trembling hands, she untied the bow and then looked down at the writing on the first envelope. Looking up at everyone, she asked, "Who got me this?"

When no one answered, Angel asked, "Why?"

Picking up the first envelope, she answered, "This is Tara’s handwriting." The

room was quiet as she added, "The first letter says ‘Past’ on it." She opened it up and removed three tarot cards. Laying them down she took a deep breath.

As everyone gathered around, including Graham who had decided to skip talking to Rye until later, she started to point each one out, explaining. The first card was a 10 of swords. Everyone gasped as they figured its meaning. A man was laying face down with 10 swords sticking out of him. The second card was the three of swords. It showed a heart stabbed through the middle with three swords. In the background, it was raining. Willow’s small voice remarked, "A darkness has fallen on my heart. This stands for sorrow and loss in life." Next, she pointed to the third card, the five of cups.. A man dressed in black stood with his back to the viewers, staring at three of his five cups that had fallen over. "Once again, loss. He is staring at the three cups that have spilled, focusing on them and not the two cups standing behind him." Gathering them up, she placed them back into the envelope.

She picked the second envelope up and showed everyone the word "Present." Opening it up, she smiled a little and laid the three cards down in the order they had been placed in the envelope. Once again, she started, "The six of swords. It shows a widow with her son being ferried across the river. On one side is dangerous waters, and one the side they are going are calm waters, signifying moving on." Pointing to the next one, the knight of cups, she stated, "My shining knight has appeared and he carries with him a cup of love." The last card was the ace of wands. "This one stands for a new, great beginning." Bringing attention to the card, she added, "See how the hand holds a newly flowering wand, that flowering stands for this beginning."

Next came the last envelope, bearing the proclamation of "Future." She took out one card at a time. First came the page of cups, proclaiming that love had entered her life. Smiling, she explained the card that pictured a young man holding out a cup, as if to say, here is the love you are waiting for. Second, she pulled out lovers card. Without explaining, she went on to the last card and slowly placed it on the coffee table, smiling. "This is the ten of cups. It promises success in family and love. See the couple with the children dancing. This is a happy ending."

Taking a deep breath, she started to open the box that came with the three envelopes. As she opened the box, she gasped. Sitting inside was the snow globe from her dream. She pulled it out and looked at the empty globe. Beneath it, the base contained a small drawer. She tried to open it, but found it to be locked. Peering back into the box, she noticed a key sitting in the bottom, with a tag on it. Lifting the key up, she looked at tag, it bore the name "Graham" and had writing on the back.

She handed it to Graham and he read the back of the tag, "This is only to be used when the time is right. Trust your heart and you will know the time. Take care of her, Graham.. Tara."

Everyone in the living room sat silent as Willow placed the globe on the table. They stared at it, each wondering on their own how the present had ended up under the tree. However, soon the silence was broken when Spike threw tinsel at Buffy and she followed up by attacking him with bows and ribbon. The globe had been forgotten, but this wouldn’t last too long.

***

 A year later...

  "So, big boy, have you been naughty or nice this year?"

  Graham turned from where he was sitting in Willow’s living room, surrounded by a sea of bows and wrapping paper. Willow was standing a little ways up the stairway, dressed in a long red silk night gown. Thank God they had decided only to invite people on Christmas and not Christmas Eve this year. Standing up, he pulled a Santa hat off and walked up to her quickly. Swinging her around, he placed her on the bottom of the stairs, gave her a kiss, and placed the Santa head on top of her head. "I would like to think that I was nice, even though I may be having naughty thoughts right now."

  Willow was about to answer when soft singing could be heard in the living room. They looked around for a while until they realized it was the globe. A light seemed to shine in it, and they walked over and peered into it. Tara’s face seemed to stare back at them. Smiling, she held out a hand towards them, where they noticed the gleam of a key. "...You will know the time," Graham remarked.

Reaching behind the globe, he found the key where he had hit it. He picked up the globe and unlocked the small drawer Willow had tried to open almost a year ago. Slowly, Graham removed a diamond ring. It sparkled in the light the globe was emitting. Smiling, he understood what Tara had meant about knowing in your heart. It was what he was knowing as he looked at it. Willow was the one for him. There was no one else in the world that he would rather be with. Kneeling down in front of her, Graham took her hand and asked, "Willow Rosenberg, will you marry me?" He didn’t say anything else, knowing that the moment had already spoken for itself.

Willow wiped a tear away and looked at the present that Tara had left for them. Her own past love wanted this to happen - was speaking past the grave into her heart about it. Looking back into his eyes, Willow nodded. "Yes, Graham Miller. Yes."

From the globe, singing started, and they peered into it, seeing a future filled with family, friends and happiness. The future had been laid out in front of them, and there was no way to ignore it, ignore what their hearts were telling them.

THE END