Title: Inner Thoughts
Author: Dreamer
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters involved in this story. I drool at the prospect, but I don't. Joss and Mutant Enemy own all.
Feedback: Greatly appreciated and highly addictive.
E-mail: DreamerV966@aol.com
Author's Notes: Guess what! I'm back.....
Author's Notes 2: this is a fic portraying Angel as he thinks about our favorite red headed witch.
Dedications: To my favorite vamps (you know who you are) and to Charity, who so kindly posts my fanfic on her site.

Wesley, Cordelia, and Gunn had left the office with promises
to be early the next evening to research the newest threat being investigated by Angel Investigations. Angel sighed as he turned out
the downstairs lights and returned to his sitting room. He finally had some alone time to go back to his favorite pastime, thinking. Or, as Cordelia would put it, brooding. Angel sat down in his chair and
propped his legs up on the desk in front of him. He crossed his legs
at his ankles and steepled his hands, resting his chin on them. Angel
stared off into the distance, allowing his thoughts to drift.

Angel thought first of Buffy, he always did. He didn't love
her anymore, but it was what he always thought of first. Buffy, with
her blond hair and smart alecky attitude, she was doing ok for herself, considering that she had just lost her mother. Angel felt his thoughts
start to drift and suddenly he was thinking of Willow. Willow, as she
was when he first met her, with her long red hair and green eyes. Angel remembered how Willow often used the red hair to hide behind, sort
of her personal shield against the world. Later, she cut it short, making her seem pixish yet older. And it always smelled ever so faintly of apple blossom. He inhaled with out realizing it when he remembered the
way Willow smelled. He had been thinking of the red head a lot lately. Much more then he had ever when he had been in Sunnydale. Angel closed his eyes as he remebered the first time he had seen Willow. He
had been standing in a dark corner of the Bronze. Willow had been
sitting at a table with Xander and Jesse. She seemed reasonably happy, but Angel had known that she was lonely. Angel had felt his heart
go out to the little red head, and had thought to himself that he had
better follow her home when she went to leave. He walked in the shadows home behind her, neither of the jerks she had been with
had offered to walk her home, and he stopped a fledgling from
attacking her that night. After she had walked into her house, he promised himself that he would talk to her the next day, find out
who she was, what she was like, maybe even start a relationship of
sorts. He had gone back to the Bronze after that, and had met Buffy,
the vampire slayer, and had been bewitched by the blond girl.
He never forgot about the red haired girl, and imagine his surprise
when Angel had found out that the red haired girl was one of Buffy's
few friends in Sunnydale. He also found out the red haired girl's name, Willow. After that Angel had been totally entranced by Buffy, he
didn't pay much attention to the red head unless they were alone together. Angel smiled in spite of himself, what would Willow think
if she knew the real reason he didn't talk to her much back in those
days. If she knew that he was afraid of letting her know that she
excited and turned him on, that she was the one he, originally, was interested in. Angel sobered at the next thought. What if he had gotten together with Willow, what if she was the one he lost his soul with.
Angel knew Angelous's mind, knew that Angelous wuld have
turned the firery red head. Angelous had always been attracted to
the red headed girl. Angel shuddered to think what would have
happened that night when he lost his soul if it had been Willow
beneath him and not Buffy. Buffy, while surprised at what happened,
still had super strenght and slayer healing to help her then. Willow
didn't have those things, and would have been crushed by Angelous
as soon as he reappeared. Angel thought forward to now. Willow
was stronger then anyone had expected her to be, that is, besides
Angel. Angel had always known that the red headed witch would someday be as powerful an ally as any. Angel was happy that Willow
was finally reaching the point that she realized she wasn't so weak anymore. Of course, with that came Willow dabbling into the world
of dating. Angel had hated Oz, and even now he didn't like this Tara
girl. Angel hated Oz because he was a werewolf, scum to vampires.
Angel could only see now that it was because he was jealous of the relationship Oz had had with Willow that he hated him. Angel also
knew that was why he disliked Tara. Although something about Tara
still bothered him. . . . Either way, Tara was the one Willow was with now. Angel growled without knowing it. Willow should be with him,
not Tara. His demon didn't understand why Angel just didn't go to Sunnydale amd take what he wanted. Angel quieted the demon. He already knew that he couldn't possibly go and get in between
something that meant alot to the red head. Angel sighed again. He
wished he could be with Willow, that she was here with him. He
wished that his soul was permanent, so that he could go and sweep
the little red head off her feet, take her so high she would never
come down. He couldn't do it, but oh how he wished...

Angel didn't finish the thought as the air conditioning turning
on brought him back from his meditations. He glanced at the clock beside him, and realized it was almost dawn. Angel stretched as he got
up, and moved to the stairs. "Until tomorrow night," Angel
whispered as he glanced one last time around the room before going
to bed.

End