Title: The EVIL Plan!

Sequel to: Hummingbird Impressions

Author: Ped

Feedback: Can be sent to sturdevk@calweb.com... feed the muse! S/he isn't

talking to me about "Hunting Grounds", "Friendly Visitations", nor the

planned sequel series to "Songs For Secret Lovers". I think lots of

feedback would draw hir back here for some quality time.

Website: http://pedfic.topcities.com

Distribution: My site, Bite Me.. Please?, and Temptation Embraced. Anyone

else? Ask and ye shall most likely receive.

Rating: R

Spoilers: The Initiative (Early Season Four)

Disclaimer: I own nothing that seems remotely familiar to you, unless you

are a fan of my other W/Gr stories, then you might recognize Graham's

family. Even then, I still don't own the main characters, that honor

belongs to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and all those other corporate

entities.

Notes: This came to me while the Interlude Muse was visiting recently. I

really wish s/he would bring hir sibling the Series Muse for a visit... I

haven't written anything new on FV in a year! And let's not mention

"Unexplored Depths", okay? (Oh wait, I already have).

Notes 2: Character thoughts are between the brackets <>

Notes 3: This is the next part of the story I began in "Hummingbird

Impressions". WARNING! Willow goes a bit OoC (Out of Character) here.

Consider yourself warned!

Summary: Who's that girl? And why is she drawing Graham like a moth to a

flame?

Dedication: To my best friend... who is still under the impression that I

don't write anything.

Graham walked into Forrest's room and sat on his bed, waiting to see how

long it took for Forrest to react.

his head. No sound. Wait for it... There!> He grinned at the tell-tale

twitch of Forrest's shoulders.

"Something you want?"

"Not really. But Willow had this proposal for you. I told her she was high

on something for even thinking about approaching you. But she argued that

you'd be useful to her, something about me not being quite man enough for

the job."

Forrest spun at the taunt and eyed his friend. "When did you talk to your

redhead?"

"Today. I ran into her, literally, outside Walsh's lecture hall. She took

me into a nearby alcove, and had her wicked way with me." He grinned at his

friend's face.

Forrest's mind ran with it.>

"And why was I mentioned?"

"Because she's seen us with Riley. And she knows about Riley and Buffy, and

their eternal dance. She wanted to know if you'd like to help us get those

'two crazy kids' together. I don't know about you, but I'm sick of hearing

about Buffy, aren't you?"

"I wouldn't say no. I mean he had to punch a guy out before he realized he

liked her. And what about you and the redhead?"

"Let's work on Buffy/Riley first, okay?"

"Whatever you say, my white brother."

* *

Forrest looked around the library basement.

Why did she want to meet here?> He turned when he felt a light tap on his

shoulder.

Willow smirked at the almost automatic defensive position Forrest dropped

into.

thought.> She licked her lips. "Hello, Forrest Gates. My name is Willow

Rosenberg. I understand you're willing to help me with the Buffy/Riley

plan."

"I was too intrigued not to. What was that about Graham not being man

enough?"

Willow smiled again. "Even Graham couldn't help me move an unconscious

Riley around. Riley looks like he carries a few more stone than I would be

comfortable with lifting."

"Stone?"

"An ancient method of weight measurement. Now, are you willing to help?"

"I guess."

"Good!" She handed him a small vial. "Put this in Riley's drink at dinner

tomorrow night. It's not a drug, and it's not dangerous. It's a simple

herbal concoction of muscle relaxants and sleeping draughts. It's also

odorless and tasteless. It works best in hot drinks, but anything above

freezing is fine."

Forrest looked at her again. "And will Buffy be getting the same thing?"

"Is the sky blue?"

"Right. Why are we putting them to sleep?"

"Because we'll then put them someplace fairly naked, and with their clothing

nearby. Either one would guess something nefarious, but together it can

only be a prank, right?"

Forrest nodded at her thinking. "What if Buffy and Riley try this on you

and Graham?"

"Buffy doesn't know enough about the Goddess' ways to do it. And Riley?

He's not that big of a threat. You, on the other hand...."

Forrest grinned. "I'm more dangerous than Riley?"

"Sure. You're first impulse when I tapped you on the shoulder was attack,

Riley at least looks first." She cocked her head sideways as if listening

to something. "See you tomorrow night, Forrest." Then she melted back into

the shadows.

"Sunnydale people are creepy."

* *

Willow stared down at her now unconscious best friend.

kill me if this doesn't work. Hey, I can only die once, right?> She heard

the approaching sounds of Graham and Forrest.

Hoping down from the coffin she was sitting on, she smiled as they cleared

the doorway above. "Hi guys!"

Graham and Forrest both grunted and she pointed them to the cage. They laid

Riley down next to Buffy and walked out of the cage. Forrest finally spoke.

"Why here?"

"Meaning why the cemetery? Or why this crypt?"

"Either."

"Buffy knows what this crypt means, plus it's safe. It's Holy ground,

sanctified by the Bishop of Los Angeles. Or it was when it was built."

"Is that all you needed from us?"

Willow walked into the cage and began stripping Riley down. She smirked at

the way both men turned their heads. "Ooh! Guess that answers the two most

eternal questions." She paused and took Riley's clothing outside the cage.

"Eternal questions?" Graham asked her as she began to leave each piece in a

different part of the crypt, some she flung with all her might to opposite

corners.

Willow finished her tasks and then turned to look at him. "Yeah. He's a

boxer wearing, innie." She looked at Forrest. "What about you, Forrest?

Innie or Outie?"

"Innie. And FYI, Willow, I wear Boxers."

"I never had a doubt. Now, I just need to remove Buffy's clothes, then I

can get out of here." She turned back to the cage and then looked over her

shoulder. "You guys don't have to wait for me. I'm perfectly able to get

back to my dorm on my own."

"But it's...."

"Dark outside and this is Sunnydale?" She smiled at Graham. "I know that.

I grew up around here, so don't worry about me." She quickly removed

Buffy's clothing and exited from the cage. She began throwing the

clothing around.

Forrest and Graham both glanced at the now entwined pair in the cage.

Willow shook her head and tossed a disposable camera to Forrest. He caught

it and, with a wicked grin, began taking pictures. He finished the roll and

noticed that Willow was near the exit of the crypt.

"That's all you wanted us for?"

"Well, I need the camera back. The pictures won't help the next stage if

they don't get developed."

"Next stage?"

Willow smirked. "You didn't think that this was the only part of my plan,

did you?" Willow caught the camera and quickly ran up the stairs, the crypt

door banging behind her.

* * *

Four days later, Willow still hadn't heard about the incident from Buffy.

She bit her lip when she

thought about what was waiting for Buffy back in her mailbox.

way too devious about the mailing of the letters. Wonder what Riley will

say.>

"Rosenberg!"

Willow turned and looked at the person who called her. "Hey, Forrest!"

Buffy spun and noticed the handsome man jogging towards them. She looked

back at her best friend, confusion evident on her face. Forrest smirked,

grabbed Willow and pulled her into a bear hug. "Hey, Red."

Willow pushed out of the hug and licked her lips. "So?"

"It worked. You were right. Graham is so going to hate you come tomorrow."

"He's the dork that forgot our coffee date yesterday."

"But he had...."

"Another meeting with Walsh, I know the explanation, Forrest. Oh! Forgive

my manners. Forrest Gates, Buffy Summers. Buffy, this is Riley and

Graham's friend, Forrest. He's devious."

Forrest snorted. "So says the woman who currently holds the title of

'Lowell House prank champion'... even if most people don't realize it. Oh!

The guys are wondering what you have planned for Thanksgiving weekend."

Willow cocked her head, deep in thought. "Well, my parents are off on one

of their many trips, again." She turned to look at Buffy. "Do we have

plans, Buffy?"

"I thought it was the gang having a nice Thanksgiving together."

"Who's cooking?"

"I am. And don't make faces at me, Willow Ann Rosenberg. You liked the

lunches I made beginning of senior year."

"But that was because you were bored and expelled. Bringing us lunch was

the highlight of your days."

"Buffy was suspended? Do tell."

Willow turned to look at Forrest. "Another time. But I'm apparently having

at least dinner with the gang. Why? What do you perverts want me along

for?"

"I was thinking poker game starting Friday night and ending whenever we all

lose our money and clothing."

"So what? I'm the token female?"

"No, you're my ace in the hole. You'll keep your clothing on, and I get

more blackmail material."

Willow laughed, then spotted Graham and Riley walking towards them. She

smirked up at Forrest, raising an eyebrow. He nodded, catching her drift.

She quickly leapt into his arms and cried, "Yes, Forrest! Do with me what

you will! I am your devoted love slave!" Then she planted a kiss on his

forehead.

Forrest laughed at the shocked looks on everyone else's faces, and lowered

Willow to the ground. "I had no doubts, Rosenberg. So, are you coming?"

"Not at the moment. But I'll check and see if I'm available that weekend.

See you!" Then she scampered off.

Forrest shook his head and looked over at Graham. "I told you she was

mattressable." He turned back to Buffy. "It was a pleasure meeting you,

Buffy. Now, I need to get to class."

* *

Willow watched as Buffy opened the latest package from 'The Incident' as it

was being called. She bit her lip when Buffy saw the videotape.

particularly inspired of me. The tape edited well on Dad's equipment, glad

I asked him for the key to the room when they were home back in September.>

Buffy's eyes popped out when she saw the tape.

Heading to their TV/VCR combo, she put the tape in and started it. Both

roommates stared at the tape, and its messages.

"Aren't they cute together?" Followed by a close-up of Buffy and Riley

entwined on the crypt floor.

"Shouldn't they admit their feelings?" Followed by a still photo of them

talking about something, post Walsh-lecture.

"Will these messages continue until they do?" Followed by a blaring,

animated screen that read, "You BET they will!"

Willow couldn't contain herself and started laughing at that last message.

She looked over at Buffy and noticed her best friend was thinking about

something. "Buffy?"

"Do you think I should get together with Riley?"

"Is Spike a vampire?"

"That's debatable."

"Well, so's the question of you and Riley. I think you guys should actually

go out on a date and quit with the goo-goo eyes. You were more forceful

with Angel, and let's not mention Poop head, okay?"

"Okay. The tapes, the snail-mails, the weird e-mails, and your not so

subtle hints have convinced me, I'm asking Riley out if he doesn't ask me

out tomorrow."

"Good!" Willow smiled and mentally patted herself on the back.

Now I just have to find out about Riley from Forrest and Graham.>

* *

Graham stared in disgust at the package that was handed to him.

*so* dead! I can't believe he convinced my sisters that I needed some TLC.>

He winced, opened the package, and groaned loudly. "Damn it! They're

fifteen, where are they finding this stuff? And who's buying it for them?"

Riley came in at that last comment and grinned. "Another package from your

sisters?"

Graham held up the package of crotchless, edible briefs to his friend.

"What makes you think that?" Riley tried, he really did, but he began

laughing at the look on Graham's face as he held the package out.

Forrest walked in the open door and saw his commanding officer writhing on

the floor and Graham glaring at him, still clutching the latest of the gag

packages from his sisters.

Willow is *so* going to love meeting them when they come back with Graham

Thanksgiving day weekend. Wonder if he knows... probably not.> He raised

an eyebrow at Graham, "Another package?"

"Another package. What did I do to deserve my sisters sending me sexually

explicit material through the mail? I mean they're acting like *I* am the

virgin in need of help, not either of them."

Riley sat up at that last comment. "Your sisters are virgins? And they

told you?"

"My sisters are not yet sixteen, and have yet to go through the ceremony of

adulthood. Of *course* they're still virgins. Mom would skin them alive if

they were not "Unicorn magnets" in March."

"Ceremony of adulthood?"

"Yeah, it's some ancient ritual that's been passed down in the religion.

Although, it's been adapted for modern culture a bit. I mean, having a just

menstruating girl perform the ceremony at like twelve would be just wrong.

Anyway, that's not the point here. My little sisters are sending me stuff

to 'enhance my sex life'!"

Forrest bit back a laugh and said, "Maybe they think you need it. I mean

when *was* the last time you were part of the beast with two backs?"

"A lot more recently than Riley... unless more happened in that crypt than

he's told us."

Both men turned to look at Riley, who blushed. "That is not your concern,

Private."

"Really? Since when? I mean you made it my concern when you asked my

opinion about Buffy. Now you're telling me it's not, that's confusing, Ri."

"Yeah, Ri. We're buddies. We promise not to embarrass you more than usual

about this."

Riley sighed and sat on Graham's bed. "You guys know about the crypt thing.

And I *know* you know about the e-mails and the letters. Well, I got a tape

today. It basically revealed that whoever has been sending me stuff won't

rest until Buffy and I are together. If I didn't know you two were inept at

anything technical not related to work I'd accuse you guys of being behind

this."

"I am shocked, shocked, that you think us so inept that we couldn't send a

few letters or e-mails."

"I was talking about the video. Neither of you have any video editing

knowledge that I am aware of."

"Well I don't. What about you, Forrest?"

"Me neither. Wonder if someone else in the House does."

Graham shrugged. "Who knows. So, Forrest what's this I hear about Willow

and the annual Thanksgiving weekend poker game?"

* *

Willow was sitting on the bench watching the Buffy/Riley picnic date.

about time. I was wondering when those two were going to actually go on

that date. It's like they were stuck in the first part of the tango.

Sheesh!> She grinned when a shadow appeared next to her. "I should warn

you; I'm waiting for a very large, very buff man."

Forrest laughed at her and grinned. "Then we just won't tell him you

settled for the spry, fighter guy." He glanced over at Buffy and Riley. "I

see they've finally done it."

"Well, no, but at least they're on a date. I think the sex has to wait

until after a tonsil searching kiss."

"And they haven't?"

Willow let an eyebrow raise. "No, and I *would* know. I'm Buffy's best

friend and roommate. She'd tell me if it did."

"Would I find out?"

"Sure! Your my co-conspirator in all this Forrest."

"I thought that was Graham."

"I wasn't just talking about the Buffy/Riley thing."

"Ah! Kat and Bella can't wait to meet you Thanksgiving Day weekend."

"Is Graham even aware that his sisters are flying back to California with

him?"

Forrest snorted in reply. "To paraphrase my mother's favorite movie,

'Graham's so confused he doesn't know whether to scratch his watch or wind

his butt'."

"And you must have been exposed to a lot of showings of that movie to be

able to quote it so well, Forrest. Should I be worried about your status?"

"Status?"

"As a macho, manly man."

"No, 'Steel Magnolias' is one of the few chick flicks I'll ever watch

voluntarily. And mostly I do that to get in good with the women."

"Ulterior motive. So, what's your reason for coming over here?"

"Graham is actually serious about you, Red. He may not be put off much

longer."

Willow sighed. "Crap! I was hoping the packages from his sisters would

delay him. I mean Oz only left me the beginning of the month. And we were

together for a really long time."

Forrest hugged her. "I know, Red. You told me. But it still remains he's

crazy about you. And the hugging thing isn't helping."

"My hugging you? Or me hugging him?"

"Both actually. He's jealous of me."

"Pfft! Show him that new girl you're working on, she's flaky but nice. I

wouldn't mind doing her."

"Willow!"

"What? It's an honest opinion. If I were more gay than I am, I would *so*

do her."

"That's actually more than I ever really wanted to know about you, Red."

Willow snorted. "You've never had a female friend before, have you,

Forrest?"

"Nope. You're the first."

Willow jumped onto her feet and pumped her fists in the air. "Whoo-hoo! I

can claim I stole someone's virginity!"

Forrest started laughing, and eventually he ended up on the ground, their

books scattered around him. Willow flopped down next to him and joined in

the laughter. They didn't care who was watching, the laughter was enough

for them.

The End